Delaney Goes to Jail
"A story of forbidden love, mourning, and punishment... a story that will make you sob like you just saw a guy die on the street."
~ Sims Newspaper
Hello, children, my name is Goodness Gracious, and I am an old twit with a cane and a story.
Let us begin with me telling you that Delaney is a FLAMING HOMOSEXUAL. He is literally on fire with the amount of his gayness within his screwed-up brain. He is weird and creepy and he always looked at Channing weird... I swear.
Anyway, one day while Delaney was a teenager, he decided to invite his gay lover, Jamaal, out on a date. Apparently they had done this before, he said. He left and went to the park behind our house and waited for Jamaal to arrive.
~ Sims Newspaper
Hello, children, my name is Goodness Gracious, and I am an old twit with a cane and a story.
Let us begin with me telling you that Delaney is a FLAMING HOMOSEXUAL. He is literally on fire with the amount of his gayness within his screwed-up brain. He is weird and creepy and he always looked at Channing weird... I swear.
Anyway, one day while Delaney was a teenager, he decided to invite his gay lover, Jamaal, out on a date. Apparently they had done this before, he said. He left and went to the park behind our house and waited for Jamaal to arrive.
I'm so proud of myself! I spied on them!
"Hello," said Jamaal. "I missed you," he whispered.
"I missed you, too," replied Delaney. He seemed to be lost in his lover's flaming homosexual eyes, which wasn't cool at all.
"Hello," said Jamaal. "I missed you," he whispered.
"I missed you, too," replied Delaney. He seemed to be lost in his lover's flaming homosexual eyes, which wasn't cool at all.
They were both like that for a very, very long time. Too long, in fact.
That was when my homosexual son Delaney disappeared.
That was when my homosexual son Delaney disappeared.
We mourned his loss. I waited for him, you see...
And finally, three days later, while Channing, Maisie, and Kristina were at prom, my homosexual Delaney appeared again.
And finally, three days later, while Channing, Maisie, and Kristina were at prom, my homosexual Delaney appeared again.
At Jamaal's house. And he was doing his homework.
I was so mad. I yelled at that boy and shook the house out of the earth it was lodged in. I blamed the fact that he was homosexual.
When Delaney begged for my forgiveness, I couldn't say no. I forgave him, on the condition that his nickname is now "Homosexual."